Those who say “it’s like a sneeze, only better” have either sad orgasms or amazing sneezes.

A parody of Old Navy’s recent supermodelquin ad, in which a competitor is disqualified for blinking. The painting is made with Marie’s watercolors and Shiva’s casein titanium white on a Crescent watercolor board. The image is based on a picture of a modelquin I found online.

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Check out my new poster.

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El que da cariño, recibe cariño.

Así que fíjate bien a quién coño le das cariño, porque hay una buena probabilidad que te lo mande de vuelta.

I can conceive of a person thinking of himself as both a scientist and a religious person. I can conceive of the same body encompassing a religious chest and a scientific brain.

But I cannot, nor I think anyone with enough intellectual honesty can either, conceive of a person thinking both religiously and scientifically about the same matter at the same time and in the same respect and with the same conviction.

Fundamentally, religious thought and scientific thought are not only mutually exclusive: they are opposites. A pure scientists would not be a religious person. Most scientists, however, are not pure in that regard, since as part of their human nature superstition does keep a slice of their mind under hold.

In a rush to beat the Mayans’ 2012 party, Harold Camping, a civil engineer by trade and biblical mathematician by vocation, has shocked countless gullible Christian fanatics by announcing the world will end in May 21, 2011. Mr Camping, who has a long tradition of forecasting the end of the world by number-crunching obscure Bible signs, explains his bullet-proof logic in a San Francisco Chronicle article (link). So here’s how it goes: say the number 5 stands for “atonement,” the number 10 for “completeness” and the number 17 for “heaven.” Are you with me so far? Good. Now, since Christ multiplied breads and fishes, let us multiply these numbers: 5x10x17, which gives you 850. Since it’s too small a number, now let’s say we square it: 722,500. Now, it is a well known historical fact in Mr Camping’s head that Jesus Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D. at about 3PM Jerusalem time, plus or minus 7 minutes. Now, if you add 722,500 days to that date, what’s it spell? You betcha! May 21, 2011…

Now, Mr Camping has made a few mistakes in his calculation, which is not surprising, since he did the same when he forecast once before that the end of the world would be on September 6, 1994. He basically made two mistakes. First, the end of the world has to be calculated since the moment of creation of the universe. And second, he forgot that Jesus Christ, besides multiplying, also had the power to heal. Power. So, instead of just multiplying all three numbers, he has to elevate the first number to the power of the third, and multiply it by the second, since God is three persons in one. Given that I’m a nice guy, and that I have a good 30 minutes of experience as biblical number-cruncher, let me save you task of doing the math: 5 to the power of 17 multiplied by 10 equals 7,629,394,531,250 days, or 20.9 billion years from creation. Since the universe is about 13.7 billion years old, that means that we can expect the end of the world to take place 7.2 billion years from now. I think it will be a Thursday, at about 9AM. So have your pop-corn ready!

Scientists are still debating the nature of gravity.
Yet, somehow, apples keep falling from trees…

- Roberto Perez-Franco (2009)